Catholic Medical Quarterly Volume 65(1) February 2015
PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY CRISIS MEANS OPPORTUNITY
Edmund Adamus,
Director of Pastoral Affairs,
Westminster Diocese
At
the conclusion of the recent consultation in the diocese on the subject of
the forthcoming 2014 Extraordinary Synod, Cardinal Vincent expressed
genuine concern but also the realism of hope that the issues raised by
both the questions and responses were in his words: “A challenging agenda
for action.” The pre-amble to the now famous questionnaire stated that:
“Never before has proclaiming the Gospel on the Family in this context
been more urgent and necessary.” The list outlining the crisis of the
family is familiar, from rising levels of co-habitation, and divorce,
through the cultural and legal normalisation of same-sex unions, to
surrogate motherhood.
In the recent Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium (The Joy of the Gospel), the Pope spoke of the profound cultural crisis of the family which is particularly serious because ‘the family is the fundamental cell of society, where we learn to live with others despite our differences and to belong to one another; it is also the place where parents pass on the faith to their children.’ This says something extremely profound about the power of family ties and their in-built capacity according to God’s plan for our happiness to overcome all sorts of obstacles, tensions, and be resilient. He goes on to speak of “the indispensable contribution of marriage to society.”
Addressing and finding credible and lasting pastoral strategies to the increasing complexities of contemporary family situations is clearly not going to be easy and Pope Francis deeply understands this. This is why the Archbishop made it clear that in fact the consideration of these challenges will take place over two synods; the recent Extraordinary Synod and the Ordinary Synod in October 2015. The result will be working guidelines in the pastoral care of the person and the family. So it’s a long process in order for the Church as a whole community to have a more accurate picture of the situation, so that eventually we can devise a more credible proclamation of the Gospel of the Family.
Despite the challenging nature of the questionnaire, 16,500 submissions were recorded nationally and of these wel l over 1,600 were handled by the Westminster Marriage and Family Life office. So what we can share now is an initial response; a sort of barometer one might say, as to the scale of the challenges we face in addressing the depth of feeling expressed in the responses. We suggest that these fall in to the following broad categories:
Conscience
It is clear that there is a great deal of confusion over what is understood by conscience. There is an urgent need to help people revisit what it means according to the Catechism especially in the light of simple rules such as ‘One may never do evil so that good may result from it.’ (CCC 1789) Matters of conscience centre upon the issues of responsible parenthood and the regulation of fertility. Formation of the moral conscience then, merits fresh efforts on many levels.
Preparing for marriage
Marriage as social institution and sacrament of the Church is universally accepted as an irreplaceable good. There is sincere appreciation for the efforts taken to provide marriage preparation for the engaged but the fact remains there are considerable gaps and variance in the quality according to what people experience. In 2007, Pope Benedict insisted that ‘maximum pastoral attention’ be given to marriage preparation. (Sacramentum Caritatis n29) Marriage preparation therefore must become more widely available, be excellent in content and adequate in length. The whole of the parish community including schools, in partnership with parents, must see itself actively involved in seeking to inspire the young from an early age to aspire to the lifelong matrimonial commitment of a loving and stable union, open to life.
Transmitting the Faith
There is both deep heartache and joy in the experience of families at the perceived levels of failure and success at passing on the faith to the next generation. No one doubts the enormous scale of the challenge facing parents and to some extent grandparents in this role against the backdrop of aggressive secularism and the IT revolution we are living through. We need to explore ways of the home, school and parish being better and more skilled partners in a shared task as a top priority for the future; within which the truth of the parent as the primary educator must have pride of place. John Paul II said that loving the family means giving it back reasons for confidence in itself. Confidence-building measures must begin with parents.
A culture of life
The authentic dignity of every person from the moment of conception to natural death is a radical teaching for our modern ‘throw away culture.’ However, responses show a considerable imbalance in peoples’ views about a life ethic and the social ethic. Our cue from Pope Francis is: “Be protectors of God’s gifts!” calling us to see the whole of creation including the integrity of our families as precious. It’s about capturing the imagination in deepening the understanding of a human ecology. To this end, anything and everything that can be done to raise awareness of, and deepen the lived understanding of, the goodness and truth of the body is both timely and vital as a pastoral response to many painful situations.
A Pastor's vision
Speaking of the parish in Evangelii Gaudium, Pope Francis reminds us that much depends upon the ‘openness and missionary creativity of the pastor and the community’ if it is to be the Church ‘living in the midst of the homes of her sons and daughters.’ There is deep appreciation of the support and Christian compassion experienced in parish life but as the Pope says, parishes have to prove themselves, ‘capable of self-renewal and constant adaptivity.’ The parish will do this by recognizing it’s ‘certainly not the only institution which evangelizes’.The Christian household, just by being a loving and forgiving place, lies at the heart of the mission of the Church; and spouses are the primary agents of the mission.
Such a depth of awareness presumes that the parish as the Pope describes it ‘really is in contact with the homes and the lives of its people.’ Yet in order to up our game in this aspect the diocese will need to have a fresh focus of thinking and energy on family life ministry at the parish level to prevent it being ‘a useless structure out of touch with people.’
Sadly as we know, the vast majority of baptised Catholics do not frequent the Sacraments, not so much out of a wilful rejection of the Lord but more often because many incorrectly view themselves beyond the reach of the Church. Holding views fuelled by a biased media and exposure to a popular culture that purveys the ‘banalisation of sex,’ they understandably believe that the Church is irrelevant. Among many of these are sincere individuals who are in unions at odds with church discipline. The Church yearns to reach out to such persons like Jesus to the woman at the well in John’s Gospel “If only you knew what God is offering and who it is that is saying to you: Give me a drink, you would have been the one to ask and he would have given you living water.” ( John. 4:10) How can we find a way of communicating our need as a community of faith for them to become more actively involved with us, just as Christ shared his human need of thirst to the woman at the well, thereby allowing her freely to respond? In short, how do we show them that it is not just their lives which are affected by not being part of the worshipping community, but indeed that the parish is greatly impoverished by their absence?
“Favour reciprocal knowledge” said Pope Benedict, “so that the parish community increasingly becomes a family of families, able to share with each other, not only the joys but the inevitable difficulties of initiating family life." Instigating family oriented associations such as the Family Groups Movement, the Family of Nazareth community, the Beginning Experience, Catholic Grandparents Association to name but a few among many others, indeed, anything that can be done in parish life to bring families together socially as well as spiritually will go a long way to addressing the sense of isolation and frustration expressed by so many.
The poet Thomas Moore said; 'the ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.' The consultation shows that only a minority of people have any appreciation of the profound value of such a spirituality. If the family, as Catholic doctrine acclaims, really is the domestic church and parents are the ‘priests of the domestic church’ (Familiaris Consortio), then it is the parents whom we need to be more creatively promoting and actively supporting as the first and best of teachers in the school of love that is the home. But talking about this and making it happen are at times two very different things. Fortunately there are some really useful familyfriendly resources available to complement existing parish initiatives to enable households to be places where faith formation can be a more consciously chosen activity. As the diocese discerns a way forward into the future in response to the synods, it will need to do so in such a way as to treat the family not so much as an object of evangelisation but the subject. We express our gratitude to all those who took the time and effort to respond to the questionnaire and for sharing such heartfelt convictions. To everyone we repeat the words of the great ‘pope of the family’ John Paul II, that, ‘no one is without a family in this world: the Church is a home and family for everyone, especially those who “labour and are heavy laden."’